Archive for February, 2007

Wrestling Spam

Why on earth would I like to join a forum on gay wrestling?

That’s what my latest spam has invited me to do.

Needless to say, I have deleted it.


Saturday Shopping

I rarely go saturday shopping because it is a painful experience, and when I do, it puts me off repeating the exercise for many months to follow. However, yesterday I went to buy a pair of jeans.

It should have been easy, but it wasn’t. Anyway, that is another story.

What struck me was the fact that when you shop alone (as I tend to do when I’m trying to find clothes or shoes), you become so much more aware of what other people are doing. The conversations you overhear in women’s changing rooms (either customers or staff!), the sights you see (like those women who manage to go out in a saggy tracksuit that appears to have vomit-stains down the front, for example), or the behaviour of families in cafes – you never seem to notice them if you’re there with someone else.  Its part of the whole shopping experience, and it is entertaining to me, in itself. That psychology degree of mine is never wasted!

Still, I could not help but stand and stare at the woman in front of me in the cafe queue, with the push-chair and the horrid little brat. The child – lets call him Freddy – was about 4 years old, I think (but I’m no judge of age), and he had climbed up the chrome rail on the front of the counter, and had perched himself on the top, next to the till and the cutlery trays. His mother called his name with an exclamation mark after it, in an attempt (I assume) to discipline him. It didn’t work.

Mother pulled a mobile phone out of her handbag, and announced in a loud voice for all to hear, that she would be ringing the police to come and take him away. The boy sprang down from the counter and pleaded with her not to use the telephone, until she returned it to her bag. (One day he’ll call her bluff, and then that threat won’t work any more – is what I was thinking to myself. )

At this point, little Freddy notices that Mummy has carefully selected a carton of apple juice for him to drink. He expresses his disapproval by pummelling his mother’s thigh with his fists and screaming. She tells him in a voice that even I’m not convinced by, that “NO! You’re not having cola – you won’t drink it. And in any case, you’re hyper enough already. ”

Oh good, I thought. Perhaps she’s making a stand here. But I was wrong.

Freddy has now grabbed two fistfulls of mum’s trousers and has let his weight drop to the floor. He continues to scream at a pitch that only small children can. Despite the fact this is happeneing directly in front of me, I am prepared to put up with the disquiet if only some discipline will come forward from this woman. ‘Please’ I find myself saying silently to this lady, ‘Please be nasty to this little brat, and he will be put in his place. You can do it.’

“Alright.” says the mother in a cooing voice. ” Be a good boy and swap it for me, then.”

No No No NO! I continue to speak sliently to myself. You have lost it, lady. That boy is a mess and its all your fault!

Eventually they go and sit down, and I do too. Unfortunately the only seat available to me has an unobscured view of little Freddy and his mother at their table – but at least I can’t hear them now. I watch their body language from afar, with me utterly transfixed and mortified in equal measure.

Mother is sipping her cappuccino like its the elixir of life, and ignoring the small boy who is perched on a chair opposite her, trying to drink his glass of cola measure by measure using a tablespoon. Mother blinks and looks away. It is obvious she’s had enough.

Freddy lifts the glass to his mouth and sticks his tongue into the cola, having cast the spoon away now. He appears to be concentrating on this latest manouvre, but I can see that he steals a look sideways to mummy – to see if she is watching him nearly pour the glass of coke over himself.

She is not.

He gives up and goes back to the spoon.

A little later, I see her speak to him. I dream that perhaps she’s telling him to sit straight and drink his drink sensibly, just like my mother would have reprimanded me. But suddenly he swipes his hand from right to left in front of him, as though to hit his mother across the face.

I am stunned.

The Mother appears indifferent to this action and carries on sipping her coffee.

My bloodpressure is rising. I have to get out of here…………….

Week 14 – trying not to yawn

Its week 14 of cakewatch, and I’ve lost another pound, which brings me to a gnat’s whisker under the full stone. I’m very pleased with myself, but I’m still only a fifth of the way to my goal – so now is not the time to be complacent. I had some lovely Chunky Monkey icecream last night when we went to the cinema*, so I feel I’ve celebrated already!

Secondly, the pain in my jaw has subsided a little, but its still there. In fact, I’m sure its only better because I’ve avoided opening my mouth too wide. On Wednesday, while I was in the shower, and still half a sleep, I yawned without clamping my mouth shut. The big, wide gape dislocated my jaw on the right-hand side, and for a few seconds (while my heart was racing and I started hyperventilating), I wasn’t sure whether I would be able to actually close my mouth again!! Hurt like hell, as well. So apart from trying not to chew, I’m trying not to yawn. Its hard work.

*Went to See Hot Fuzz at the cinema. I recommend it – especially if you’ve seen and liked Shaun of the Dead.

Baggy Trousers

I am feeling rather victorious today, having weighed myself, and I can confirm that last week’s poor result was definitely due to eating too much fat in my diet. This week, I’ve kept below my 60g a day fat allowance, and I’ve lost two and a half pounds. I’m so pleased!

In 13 weeks (remember two of them don’t count because I gained weight over Christmas time), I have lost 12.5lbs. If I keep this up I’ll have shed my first stone by the end of next week. We shall see.

Anyway, I’m going to have to buy new jeans – I don’t mind telling you that mine are too baggy now!

Wisdom of the Teeth

Last week I told you about the pain in my jaw, and the fact that I thought it was referred pain from my wisdom tooth. Well, I went to the dentist on Wednesday and saw the dentist. He wasn’t my dentist, oh no – mine had been ‘called away’ whatever that’s code for. So, I told him my problem; the clicking jaw as standard, the suddenly appearing pain in my jaw etc etc. He was very young and very new, this chap – perhaps a locum? I don’t know. Anyway, he had an excellent bedside manner, and was at pains to explain what he was going to do – but did he know what he was talking about? Not sure.

Anyway, I tthen went off to have an Xray with the dentalnurse-witch. Why are they so rude? The machinery moved around me like some sci-fi film, while the digital xray images were sent along the data cables to my dentist’s laptop (all this on the NHS!!), and I tramped back to the waiting room. When I got called in again, he showed me my Xray, pointed out all the fillings, and showed me the wisdom tooth and jaw. Nothing. All looks fine.

I have a week to rest my jaw. Ha ha ha!! Eat a soft, non-chewy diet, take regular ibuprofen, try not to open your mouth wide, so avoid yawning. Avoid yawning? How do you do that?

I’ve got to go back to my own dentist next week to see if its got any better – but if the do need to remove that wisdom tooth, they’ll need to recover the one from my lower jaw too……. and that one is very deep-set, so I’m not looking forward to it at all. Maybe its not my tooth, and my TMJ is the root of the problem.

I don’t think I’m going to have an easy ride, either way.

Oh, and just to cap it all, I’ve woken up with a sore throat and ear-ache today.


Cakewatch week 12 – too much icecream

I remained the same weight this week as last week. 7 days have gone by and nothing is different. How could this be???

Two reasons. Firstly, I’ve been drinking ginger-beer (my favourite) this week – which contains lots of sugar, when I would normally have had sugar-free drinks. This has upped my calorie intake unnoticed. Last night, I suddenly realised I’d drunk 300kcals extra!!

Secondly, I’ve forgotten to keep track of the fat content of things, and I’ve just gone by calories – and that’s been my downfall.

Or rather, the ice-cream has been my downfall.  I love ice-cream, and I’ve been very good since I started watching what I eat, and I’ve been rationning it. I now only have 100g instead of half a tub, so that’s good – and well within my calorie allowance. What I’d forgotten is that 100g can contain anywhere between 9 and 16g of fat!!!!


Better luck next week.

My Jaw is All in My Mind

One of the problems with being hypermobile, is the fact that my TMJ is loose, and prone to displace slightly and click horribly. The TMJ stands for temporomandibular joint, which is, for want of a more simple expression, the joint that makes your jaw move when you speak or eat. Eating lovely crusty french bread can often be extremely painful if it makes my jaw click.

Anyway, I’ve had the feeling of soreness in the area just in front of my right ear, where the TMJ is situated for a few days, and I had convinced myself that I’ve somehow displaced my jaw. I’ve been trying to set it straight ever since – until today, when I got another symptom. Just above the TMJ, slightly nearer to my ear, I’ve been getting a feeling of discomfort, almost an ache. Odd, I thought today, as I was driving along the M11 – it hurts in my ear now……

I prodded it a bit, moved my jaw up and down and felt the bones moving underneath. Nope – all seems in the right place, and isn’t really giving me a problem, but now I come to think about it properly, there’s a distinct underlying achiness……..

I opened my mouth wide, and prodded the joint from the inside, but apart from a wet finger, it didn’t get me anywhere. Hang, on – I wonder…..  

I pressed on my back wisdom tooth, which is at a slight angle, but right back in that corner near my TMJ…. Owwww!!!!

Its my bloody wisdom tooth!!! I think its rotten.

Thing is, now that I know what’s causing it – I swear its hurting more. I’ll have to wait until Wednesday now to get it looked at. Damn.