Star Trek Doctor

I have already told you about the saga of my jaw, but I haven’t yet explained that I did visit the Dr last week. My GP, an indian lady whose name escapes me, even though I read it on the door every time I go in there, isn’t known to me for her bedside manner. Anyhow, Dr Crusher (As I’ll call her, in honour of the lady Dr on Star Trek), sat down and listened to my story of pain, more pain, dislocation and clicking, more pain, problems yawning and general miserableness.

She stood up, reached out to my face and placed the tips of her fingers on my TMJs (those joints which form the hinge of your jaw). She got me to open my mouth until it hurt (which wasn’t far). She sat down and announced I would need to take 400mg of ibuprofen three times a day for 14 days to rule out a soft tissue injury. Then I was to come back and see her.

Right, says I. And the dislocation is all in my mind then?

Well, It might feel a bit strange because the joint is inflamed, says she, like I’m some kind of muppet.

So I agree to take the tablets, as long as she tells me what she’ll do when I come back in two weeks, since I know its not a muscular problem.  She says she has to rule of the soft tissue injury before she can refer me to the Max Facs people. (No, not the make-up people, the maxillo-facial consultants).

Oh goody, thinks I. This is where my Bupa cover will come in handy, because I’m damned if I’m waiting six months to get this sorted out!

So, as I approach the end of my 5th day on the tablets, I can honestly say its getting worse, not better. So much for the Star Trek diagnosis.

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9 Responses to “Star Trek Doctor”


  1. 1 ian 5 March 2007 at 10:55 am

    Go for it (you need to get that jaw sorted)

  2. 2 Liz 5 March 2007 at 11:37 am

    ah! i hope you feel better. that’s crazy!! so many hoops to jump through..

  3. 3 hoverfrog 5 March 2007 at 11:41 am

    Does she have a tri-corder? I’d visit the doctor more often if they had tri-corders and doors than opened automatically with a swish.

    I hope if gets sorted soon. Any kind of constant pain is a …. well it’s a pain.

  4. 4 drunkenspaniel 5 March 2007 at 7:34 pm

    Yes, Frog – I’d be impressed if she had one of those gadgets. But, alas no swishy doors, and no tricorders. Meh.

    Liz & Ian – thanks for the moral support! I will keep you posted.

  5. 5 MSG 6 March 2007 at 12:29 pm

    I was going to ask about the tri-corder, but hoverfrog already beat me to it. I would question then, is she a hologram? Like the doc on that other star trek show with the female captain. You know? No, me neither.

  6. 6 drunkenspaniel 6 March 2007 at 7:38 pm

    Hi MSG! I know the hologrammatic Dr to which you refer.. Now… What was his name? Hoverfrog – do you know?

    In lots of jaw pain today.

    Meh

  7. 7 Booger 7 March 2007 at 8:33 am

    Why not grab her by the jaw, give it a good shake and see how quickly she refers you then?

  8. 8 drunkenspaniel 7 March 2007 at 3:14 pm

    I might try that next week, Booger! I’ve booked a review appointment with Dr Crusher for next Thursday. We’ll see what she does.
    If she breaks out the tricorder, I’ll be straight onto the web to let you all know!

  9. 9 hoverfrog 14 March 2007 at 12:36 pm

    He was the Emergency Medical Hologram. The crew of Captain Janeway’s Voyager called him Doctor but he did try on several names during the series.

    If she holds up a cornflake box painted silver and blue and makes a humming noise you should probably phone someone to get her taken away.

    How’s it feeling today?


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