Archive for October, 2007

QVC stole my soul…

I must confess that this evening, with my dinner on my lap, I strayed from the more sensible TV channels and found myself drawn in to QVC……

It only happened for anout 15 minutes, until I came to my senses and switched over, but I could feel the common sense being bludgeoned to death by the sickly, cooing, feigned excitement that oozes from the mouths of the overly-made-up, shiny hostesses of QVC. Today was Christmas Decoration Items.  

If an air steward and a cosmetics counter saleslady had an affair and produced offspring, the children would grow up to be the presenters of QVC. No-one can be that enthusiastic about cheap sparkly tatt without a good genetic foundation on which to build the hollow insincerity of the TV Shopping Channel personality.

But, unlike the alleged 200 or so other viewers who did manage to summon the energy to dial the order line and read out their credit-card details to buy a selection of porcelain dangling cherubs (what the?), I was never taken in enough to part with my hard-earned cash. Granted, I could feel my life-force being drained by the constant use of superlatives to describe items I’d have walked past at a boot fair, but I never believed. It was just like the dementers from Harry Potter were there in the room with me, as my heartbeat began to slow and my consciousness-level started to deteriorate….. 

I stretched, as the two women chuckled about how sparkly the piece of gold-sprayed christmas junk was in the candle-light, and I managed to nudge the remote control just enough to change the channel back to the News. I was saved. My soul remained safely in my body, and stayed there to fight another day.

I must be more careful next time. 15 minutes of QVC is far too high a dose to be taken in one sitting.  

And now, in other news…

I have had confirmation that I’m going into hospital on 11th December for my ankle reconstruction. Its weird how I wasn’t worried about it because I hadn’t had anything in writing about it. The whole concept of the surgery was just made up of transient, spoken words, which were said, heard, and then gone…. And now….

Now I have received a letter from the Surgeon, and from the hospital which confirms in very definite print, in black and white, that this thing is really going to be happening and, somehow, because of that, I’m starting to think about it in a different way. I just keep thinking that its going to be painful, and my recovery is going to be drawn out and hard work.

Am I scared? No, I don’t think so. My biggest worry is how on earth I’m going to get a bath in the morning with a plaster cast from toe to knee. Meh.

I don’t think I’m going to feel very Christmassy.  

Act your age

Why is it that grown adults, many of them in their 50’s can act like small children in the playground while they’re at work?

I don’t think some people ever grow up.

Hmm. I’ve got your NUMB3R

I have just finished watching an episode of the American series Numb3rs. While I’m not usually prone to reviewing what I watch on TV (mainly because I don’t really watch a lot of TV, and the TV I do watch has to be pretty good to hold my attention), I feel a desperate need to share just how bloody awful this programme is.

In the initial 15 minutes, I wondered whether it was a spoof due to the wooden and then terribly affected acting. I couldn’t let myself believe in any of the characters, and the whole thing ran as though it was being done by the 6th form amateur dramatics group at the local secondary school.

Don’t get me wrong, I liked the idea of the show, I just didn’t like the actual show. I felt, watching it, that it showed up just how great programmes like Crime Scene Investigation and Medium are. While I normally love seeing people who are a bit weird but are at the same exceptionally talented do their stuff for the greater good, (y’know, like Grissom, Allison, the kid from the sixth sense etc) I just couldn’t believe in Charlie. He was too superficial, as were all his co-stars.

Nope. I shan’t be watching that rubbish again.  

Blog Stats Puzzle

WordPress is wonderful. You can see who has referred people to you on the Blog Stats page, you can moderate the posts that WordPress thinks are spam (and it is usually right!), but I am puzzled.

Why did someone type ‘win thrush with antibiotics’ into Google?

Why, then, did Google send them to this Blog? Does this look like a tombola for yeast infections????

Also, why are all people trying to get you to look at pornographic internet sites illiterate or at best severely dyslexic? You aren’t going to lure me into your secret world with a sentence like “You has oldman gaysex photis?”

What the hell does that mean?

Idiots.

Two Posts in One day? Surely not??

I pinched this from Mr Frog

  1. Who is your partner? Badger
  2. How long and you been together? Hmm. Together as a couple about 4 and a half years.
  3. How long did you date? We’ve never dated. Is that so wrong?
  4. How old is your partner? 24. Badger is 6 years younger than me. Is that so wrong, either??
  5. Who eats more? Badger does. Definitely. Especially cheese.
  6. Who said I love you first? Can’t remember. Probably both of us around the same time.
  7. Who is taller? He is, by about 6inches. 
  8. Who sings better? Difficult to judge. Badger sings much better when he’s drunk, I sing better when I’m the only witness. 
  9. Who is cleverer? Another tough one, but on the whole – he is. I have my moments. My best subject is useless facts. 
  10. Whose temper is worse? Neither of us have a temper. 
  11. Who does the laundry? We both do but, I remember to wash towels and bedclothes, so I win.  
  12. Who takes out the rubbish? Again we both do – but Badger does it more often, especially in the dark, so he wins this one.  
  13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Right as you look at it or right as you lay in it? If its as you lay in it, me – I’m nearest the door, so the tigers would eat me first.  
  14. Who pays the bills? Direct debits do.
  15. Who is better with the computer? Difficult to judge. I do some things better, Badger does others better.  
  16. Who mows the lawn? Badger does. Its what men do. 
  17. Who cooks dinner? Usually I cook, but Badger does a share too. 
  18. Who drives when you are together? Depends whether we’re going somewhere to drink alcohol. If its the pub, I tend to drive, for other places it depends whose car is nearer the road!  
  19. Who is the most stubborn? We both can be, but I would say he is.  
  20. Whose parents do you like the most? Another toughie. Probably mine if I had to choose, but both Dads are pretty good company. Its the mothers you have to watch.
  21. Who kissed who first? He kissed me. But I kissed him back. Does that count? 
  22. Who asked out who? This never happened, we just became together one summer.
  23. Who proposed? He asked me on my birthday this year. I was swept off my feet! 
  24. Who has more friends? Probably about the same on both sides.  
  25. Who has more siblings? Me. I have Lara and Dave, he just has Chavboy.  

Well, that was interesting wasn’t it. I didn’t realise just how amicably we’ve split everything up! I tag anyone who wants to play.

It was the fairies, honest, guv….

It has taken me several days before I could bring myself to post this little gem. I’m still laughing now. I was interviewing for carer-supervisors on Friday, and as the consummate HR professional, I hadn’t read anything about the job, the candidates, the proposed questions – nothing,  before I sat down with the rest of the panel, 5 minutes before the off. I like living on the edge, me. Fortunately my blagging-chip has never failed me yet.

I made some ammendments to the sadly lacking interview question sheet provided by the interviewing manager, and off we went. The recruiting managers, I realised, appeared just as terrified about the interviews as the candidates. Whether the candidates knew this, I don’t know – but I could see that the managers weren’t conducting themselves with confidence. Anyway, I digress.

Our fourth candidate was a lady called Dot. She was a large woman, real salt-of-the-earth with bleached-blonde hair and a very common accent that wouldn’t have gone amiss on Eastenders. She’s currently a carer, and loves her job. As she spoke, I noticed on her left hand, she was sporting a bright red watch with ENGLAND emblazoned all over it. Hmmm. This alone was not a problem, of course, but the next answer was:

Interviewer 1 “What do think makes a good team?”

Dot “Dunno, really.”

Interviewer 1 “OK, well, what needs to be there for a team to work?”

Dot “Well, it just sorta happens, doesn’t it? On its own. ”

Spaniel “What, like magic?” (I was so shocked, my question came out like this!!)

Dot “Well, yeah. I suppose it does. ”

OH MY GOD!! AND YOU WANT TO BE A SUPERVISOR!!!! YOU MUST BE JOKING, LOVE!!

But it got worse….. She then went on to say that teams didn’t work if they were all-women, that you had to have a few men around too, but lastly – and my all time favourite – was:

“Really, you have to have brought up kids to be any good at this kinda job”.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was lost for words.