Passport Rant

I have never heard of anything so ridiculous.

The lady from the UK Passport office rang me today to tell me that there was a problem with my application to change my name.

Really? What’s wrong?

She told me, in the condescending tones of a a civil servant who knows just how idiotic the general public are that I had signed my new application in my old name. She implied a silliness in this action, that was completely absent, and therefore got my back up straight away.

Me: “No, said I – I’ve signed my signature. ”

Her: “But its the same as the old one. ”

Me: “That is correct. ”

Her: “But it isn’t allowed. It doesn’t match your new name. ”

Me: “So? If my signature was a meaningless scribble it could say anything and you’d be none the wiser.”

Her: “But it isn’t. We know it says your old name, and that’s not good enough.”

Me: “So, you’re telling me I have to make up a signature just for my passport?”

Her: “Oh no – you have to change your signature for everything. ”

Me: “Why? Where does it say that?”

Her: “I can’t really be getting into discussion about this – I’m just telling you the rules”. 

Funny that…. “OK,” says I, “Where do we go from here?”

Her: “We’ll send you a new form which you’ll have to sign properly. ”

Me: “And I’m going to have to pay for this again am I?”

Her :”Oh no, you won’t need to pay again, you’ll just need to sign it again. ”

Me: “I see. Well I’ll wait for you to write to me then. ”

Her “OK, I’ll let Mrs suchandsuch know and she’ll send you a new form. ”

Me: “Fine. Goodbye.”  

This, my friends, is the thin end of the wedge.

I’m not giving up without a good fight. When did readable signatures become law? This is preposterous!

I shall wait until I get my new form and letter and complain to someone higher. What utter rubbish.

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4 Responses to “Passport Rant”


  1. 1 Moobs 30 April 2009 at 11:35 pm

    Wait till you see what happens when your new signature strays out of the box.

  2. 2 blue soup 1 May 2009 at 7:27 am

    My Dad was in the supermarket once and he signed his signature to pay – back in the days before chip and PIN. The cashier was holding his card and she looked at the name embossed on the front of the card and said: “Oh, that doesn’t look like your name!” To which my Dad simply replied: “It doesn’t have to look like my name. It has to look like my signature.”

    The UK Passport lady is talking nonsense. My signature is a series of weird lines…

    This story: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5236085/Woman-who-changed-her-name-to-Pudsey-Bear-refused-passport.html might make you laugh and again show what a bunch of jobsworth these people are…

  3. 3 hoverfrog 1 May 2009 at 2:43 pm

    Many moons ago I used to work for the DVLA and I had to sign every letter that went out. My signature went from “The Wondrous and Illustrious Magnificent Mr Frog” to “J” after a week and has remained a illegible squiggle ever since.

    Isn’t it bad enough that you lose the name you were born to without having to change your signature too? The rules state that you should use your normal signature. There is nothing else about form or format other than the space it take up.

    Kick the officious little snot up the rear for being such a jobsworth.

  4. 4 drunkenspaniel 2 May 2009 at 6:31 pm

    My ranting paid off.
    I had a letter from them today asking me to confirm in writing that I’m keeping my signature.
    I’m still going to complain.


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