As a small child, I had confidence. I was ‘bossy’, which was always seen in the negative back then, but I like to think I showed ‘great leadership potential’. (I see the same trait in my little girl, funnily enough). At secondary school, somehow that got knocked out of me and I spent many years not being sure if anyone liked me, not being sure if I was doing the right thing; generally being uncertain.
When I got to work, I realised there was a place for me. I was an organiser, a networker and a communicator and someone others would follow…. and slowly, slowly when I realised what I could do, back came my confidence. Apart from a small blip where a bad relationship squashed me back down again, I am now in a good place where I believe in myself, know who I am and know my own limitations.
At work, a promotion has come up, for a job I reckon I could do. And, when I think about the job itself, I am confident in my ability to do it. I would enjoy it, and I could really make a difference. But. Two of my colleagues and a handful of external people think they could do it, too. As soon as I think about the competition, my confidence wanes…. Maybe they’re better than me….
On the other hand, may be they’re not.
I know what I must do.