No magic wand

“But if I check that my member of staff is ok, they’ll probably accuse me of bullying them.”

Yes. They probably will. When I tell you what you need to say, you’ll write it down and take it away…. but when you say it to them, they either get offended or upset, or they won’t believe you’re telling the truth. Why is this?

“How come you say exactly the same things as me, but your way is right and my way is wrong?”

Yes, I know. The fact you can’t work it out speaks volumes. Its not so much WHAT you say, its just as much HOW you say it. You’ve got to be sincere, empathetic, understanding, firm and confident, but able to adjust your approach and tone depending on what the other person brings.

And I can’t teach you that. I can make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear (metaphorically, anyway), but I cannot teach you how to read other people, and put yourself across to them in the right way if you don’t already have that ability.

I might be the Bad News Fairy, but I don’t have a magic wand.

What’s all this about then?

I should write a book about my life in HR. I think people would think this commetary on my life was a bit too far-fetched to be about real-life events, though. But the truth really is stranger than fiction.

Let’s look at today’s highlights, then:

1) Tales of the Dead Dog being buried by candle-light just prior to Christmas.

2) The guy who took us to court – and got a reasonable payoff sends a heartfelt christmas card to our CEO.

3) The man who only did 5 days work and then didn’t come back has decided to try and tap us up for a fortune at Tribunal (there’s no justice).

4) Lucy Cruise-ship (manager) sends long email complaining about how half her staff haven’t bothered to come to work because they’re “sick” on the first day back. Where is she? Why, she’s at home in Kent because “there’s such a long tailback on the QE2 bridge” so she’s decided to be absent too…. Marvelous role-model….

5) The lady who has decided to come back to work today after declaring mental health issues and having 6 weeks off because her sick pay is coming to an end, but she hasn’t been signed fit by her Doctor…..

What a lovely day!! Happy New Year.

Introducing a new member of the Cast… Dog.

Here is Dog, being particularly nosey in our new house!

Hello 2012

Hi everyone. I apologise for being away for so long. A lot happened. I had a molar pregnancy, and that meant (unfortunately for me) that I had to have a course of low-level chemotherapy to kill off a weird non-cancerous tumor that was fooling my system into thinking it was a foetus…. Nature is very interesting. More interesting when it’s happening to oneself….

Anyway, in my usual style, I dealt very positively with the whole episode, including the week in the cancer-ward at Charing Cross hospital, which I will describe as living with the dying. It puts your life into focus, certainly!

Anyway, shit happens to everyone – its all about how you decide to deal with it.

So, following a very busy year, and more recently a little Christmas break from work, I feel the time is right to come back and write.

Facebook is all very well, but I find myself needing something else. Without the bloody annoying people that make up a lot of our lives. Oh they’re nice enough, these people, but they’re mainly stupid.

Yep – still a pedantic snob. Don’t care!

Hope there’s still someone out there who might want to read what I want to say. Let me know.

xx

Not really

Hi there. I’ve been away a while because, it turned out there was no baby in there and the pregnancy just wasn’t viable. I’ve had quite a traumatic time, really. But I’ve just got on with it.
Which meant I haven’t had time to talk to you about it here.
But I’m OK, although I’ve had to have chemotherapy, even though I don’t have cancer.

Hope everyone’s doing ok.

I can’t believe it…. I’m…. pregnant!

Well, what can I tell you?

I found out I was pregnant on a Saturday morning in early April, but by the following wednesday I wasn’t any more and miscarried. Didn’t really feel much different to a heavy period if I’m honest. Here I am, just 5 weeks later and I’m pregnant again………

Except this time I actually FEEL pregnant. I can pee for England at the moment, my digestive system is slowing down and making me uncomfortable, I’ve got a wavering appetite (very strange for me – I normally LOVE my food) and I’m exhausted all the time.

Its weird though, knowing, but not being ready to tell people. Me and Badger are quietly excited, but we can’t really get our hopes up, just in case this little bundle of cells decides it doesn’t want to cook properly…

It seems like bloody ages until I can get a confirmation scan.

On the other hand, since I didn’t actually have another period between the miscarriage and my big fat positive test result, we aren’t certain of any dates! By rough calculation, if all goes well, we’re looking at mid Jan 2011.

It seems like forever away.

And my life will change.

Doesn’t feel real yet.

Still Spinning, and What’s alopecia then?

When I returned yesterday to my bog, I wondered about the title. I’ve been “still spinning” since 2003, but to be honest, I haven’t had a major recurrence of vertigo, so maybe its time for a name change? No – traelling as a passenger up the spiral entrance to our local multistorey carpark reminded me how sensitive I am to spinning. I felt sick and disorientated in just a few minutes!! Maybe I’m just coping better than I used to, which is why I don’t notice it so much. Perhaps the title stays!

But I have a new subject to occupy my time. Alopecia. See here.

My hair has always been thin, but now I’m losing it in quite a big way. Its quite awful when you’re a girl! I’m now considering whether to go for a wig or hairpiece of some kind. Not an easy decision.



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